I was planning on taking the week off leading up to my scheduled c-section on June 26^th in order to relax, nest, un-wind from work mode Erin and mentally prepare for mom mode Erin. I told Luke one night, “I hope I can take PTO the week leading up to the c-section, it would totally suck to find myself working until 8:00 pm on Thursday and go in at 5:00 am Friday to have my babies…” Part of the relaxing was going to be catching up on my blog. Don’t tell my boss but I usually write my blog posts on my lunch break and then finalize at home by uploading pictures and formatting. In the middle of May my replacement at work started (yes! I’m going to go back to work part-time) and we decided to share my office to maximize training opportunity. While my overall work related production increased exponentially my poor little blog fell behind.

Then on May 28^th I found myself at work at 7:30 pm on a Thursday night walking through the month-end close process with our new staff. Earlier that afternoon I had a bio-physical ultrasound, non-stress test and growth checks for the twins. They passed with flying colors – both boys were growing at the rate of half a pound per week, their heart beats were within expected limits, and we could tell they were practicing their breathing and moving during the ultrasound. They still had some growing left to do but I left there a proud momma and told the boys they just had to hold out until Grandma Prudence got into town in the middle of June then they could come whenever they wanted. I picked up dinner on my way home and sat grumpily on the couch bitching to Luke about having to work late. He, of course, isn’t a fan of me working late and being stressed out but he also knows that there’s no telling me what to do so he sat there nodding in agreement while zoning out watching Despicable Me. I hate animated movies unless I’m watching with a kid but I didn’t say anything and he didn’t voluntarily change the channel so we sat in silence knowing that if either one of us spoke that we would bicker and wind up in a petty fight. Finally, the movie ended and we called it a night. Luke takes about 30 seconds to get ready for bed. Somewhere between the living room and bedroom he strips down to his boxers and is in bed in no time but I have my entire routine to go through – a routine that doubled in time over the course of pregnancy because I have to pee at least 5 times before crawling into bed. For some reason right before bed I freak out about having to wake up so many times during the night so I try to go as many times before climbing into bed as possible.  Zeus and Luke lay in bed staring at me in the bathroom begging me with their eyes to hurry up and get in bed so the lights will go off. Right as I put one leg into bed I felt the pressure on my bladder to pee so I stepped back down and boom! my water broke and splashed all over the floor. Both Zeus and Luke sat straight up and saw the terrified look in my eyes. I told Luke I either peed my pants or my water broke and that I couldn’t tell either way, but I do know that no matter the amount of kegels I did there was no stopping the flow of water out of me. We decided it would be best to go to the hospital to be safe but in my gut I knew it was go time. Luke went into panic mode and I stayed relatively calm. I decided that we should pack a bag in case it ended up being the real deal and rattled off a mile long list of things Luke needed to do before we left. Install car seats, wash baby clothes, charge camera, groom dogs and remodel kitchen were all on there and Luke did his best to placate me but about five minutes later he gave me the “get your ass in the car before something happens and you have my babies on the side of the street…” look so I obliged. Our hospital bag ended up containing about five days worth of clothes for each season but no underwear, toiletries, or anything for the boys. Thankfully we live close to the hospital.

I called the afterhours emergency line for my doctor’s office and a lady said, “thanks for calling we’ll have someone call you back within an hour.” I was confused because I thought something labeled “emergency line” would equate to quick action. Apparently not. The lady tried to get off the phone with me but I wasn’t having it. I asked if I should go to the hospital or just hang out until someone decided to call. She said, “I am not qualified to give advice, I can only pass your message along to the on-call doctor.” In normal circumstances this would be a perfectly acceptable response to me, I would understand the liability involved in having a non-qualified person giving out medical advice, however, normal me had left the building an hour prior. She tried to get off the line again but before she could I blurted out, “ma’am, I have a waterfall between my legs, I’m only 34 weeks with twins and my husband and I have no idea what’s going on because these are our first kids…” She said, “girl as mother myself you are in labor, get your ass to the hospital.” Alrighty then. By the time the phone call ended we were already at the hospital. It was late so we had to use the afterhour’s entrance and were directed to the admitting desk in the lobby. Luckily, the girl on duty was someone we had been dealing with regularly when going to the hospital for non-stress tests. She did a double take and asked, “You’re doing a non-stress test this late?” I told her it was the real deal and she was shocked. She started to register me in the system as an inpatient when I had to tell her, “I’m sorry but I’m about to leak all over your lobby, is there any way we can expedite this process?” Within a minute she had me in a bed on the labor floor and said she would finish the paperwork herself and bring to me to sign. Lobby flood avoided.

Nonchalant would be the understatement of the century when it came to the nurses’ response time to what Luke and I thought was the most important event in the world at the moment. They wandered in and out of our room taking my vitals and getting me situated. As ,Rachel, the RN Supervisor on duty listened to my lungs I asked her what the process was going to be. She said they first had to determine if my water actually broke then they would determine the steps to be taken from there. I asked her, “I have completely soaked this puppy pad you have me lying on, is there any chance my water didn’t break?” She spread my legs, felt the puppy pad and replied, “Oh you’re right! Ok you’re going to be a full admit, get comfortable.” She then fisted me to check my cervix and I was already 4 cm dilated. She got a little pep in her step and everyone we dealt with from there on out had a sense of urgency. Rachel returned with another nurse, Jessie, and explained Jessie would be by my side every step of the way and that Rachel would be rotating between patients but would be in the room with us for important events. Then they started draw blood and hook me up to the IV. The sight of blood and needles makes me pass out so I turned my head and closed my eyes to avoid unnecessary medical attention. I could feel the blood being drawn when I heard a clink on the ground and Jessie said, “man, I’m a bad shot.” I told her that was probably not something she should say as she was sticking needles in someone and Rachel and her died laughing. They got it together and got the IV in me and then Jessie started running through a list of a million questions that she had to ask. About halfway through the list I looked down at my wrist where the IV was and it had swollen to almost double in size from my wrist bone halfway up my forearm. I interrupted Jessie, showed her my arm and asked if this was a normal. She said, “oh shit! I must have blown a vein.” She tried one more time on my right arm and two more times on my left arm before calling Rachel in to get the IV inserted correctly. This is going to be a shit show I thought to myself, but I had nowhere else to go. Rachel then explained that she had heard from Dr. Hunt, the on-call doctor, and that Dr. Hunt instructed her to put me on magnesium to delay labor. The doctor wanted to try to delay labor long enough to inject me with steroids that would help develop the boys lungs. Once injected, the steroids would need 48 hours to have an impact so the goal was to delay labor for at least 2 entire days but longer if possible so a second dose of steroids could be injected. I asked if I was going to just be sitting around for the next 4 days before anything was going to happen and Rachel said, “yep, that’s the goal. Get comfortable, “ as she handed me the remote to the TV in the room. The room emptied and it was just Luke and I in complete disbelief. Purposely delaying labor and sitting around a hospital room sounded like the worst way to spend a week ever but we knew the doctor had our boys best intentions in mind so we settled in and decided to watch a movie to pass the time. For whatever reason I chose to watch Jersey Boys and Luke didn’t even object. Since we had a plan, we decided it was time to call our parents. Up to this point, I had kept it together pretty well. I was freaking out inside but did my best to keep it calm, cool and collected on the outside. The minute I heard my mom’s voice on the phone I broke down and started to bawl while the song “Big girls don’t cry” played in the background. Jersey Boys was providing the soundtrack to my labor.  All I could mutter was “my water broke and they’re trying to delay labor for a few days.” My mom responded, “ok so you’ll have the babies in two weeks then?” I didn’t know if I misspoke or my mom misinterpreted but I couldn’t deal so I threw the phone to Luke and at that time the room filled with people again to administer the steroids. I looked over and Luke was explaining the process to my mom but as soon as saw the fear in my eyes he basically hung up on her. My poor mom, I can’t imagine getting that call half way across the world and it ending not knowing how I was actually doing or what was actually going on – sorry mom! The nurses and medical student in the room kept warning me about how painful the stinging from steroid shot was going to be and I was freaking out. I rolled onto my side and grabbed Luke’s hand with a death grip. A few minutes later I asked when the shot was going to be administered and was told it had already happened. I didn’t feel a thing. This is one time my big booty came in handy!

After the steroids were injected things became a blur and started to move quickly or at least it was quick to me. I started to feel my contractions and the nurses would pop into the room to have me rate the pain on the scale of 1 -10. 1 equated to manageable, 5 equated to having to cry through them, and 10 equated to someone chopping your leg off and smacking you in the face with it. I hovered around a two for awhile but escalated to a 5 within two hours. The entire time various doctors and nurses would come into the room and try to have serious conversations with me and I would have to interrupt to cry through a contraction. I even had an ultrasound performed by a tech who didn’t seem to care I was contracting and would push on my belly to get the perfect angle; I have never seriously contemplated killing someone until that moment. After crying through enough contractions and the contractions getting closer and closer together the nurse checked my cervix again. She reported that I was 6 cm dilated. She looked Luke and I in the eyes and said, “things are going to start moving quickly.” “How quickly,” asked Luke. “Your babies will be here within an hour, our policy is 1 hour from decision to incision.” Holy-freaking-sh!t. I was relieved. I knew in my gut this would be the result so I just wanted to get there. Luke called our parents to let them know what was going on and he successfully calmed my mom down a little bit, or at least I think. My original plan was to have Luke, my mom and my mother in law Lana at the hospital with me for my scheduled c-section. I figured one person per baby and one person to watch me. I was two people short of my plan and told Luke to call my brother and tell him to get up to Phoenix immediately. Luke and the nurse explained to me that I would be in the operating room within the next 30 minutes and that my brother would not have enough time to get there. I was unraveling at the seams. Knowing that we had so much family and help near us is what kept me somewhat sane during the pregnancy. Now it was just us to tackle the biggest moment of our life. The neonatologist came into the room to set expectations for the boys’ conditions and the steps that would be taken. He said since the boys were so early the expectation would be that they would need a fair amount of support when they arrived, anything from heat to breathing support. Dr. Hunt then came in to explain the c-section procedure and finally the nurse came in to wheel me down to the operating room.  Poor Luke had to stay back in the room while the surgical team prepped. We were reassured we would only be separated for thirty minutes but it felt like thirty hours.

My surgical team was amazing and at no point did I feel unsafe or unsure but I still thought the entire process was bizarre. I was so relieved when Luke walked into the room and took a seat next to me to hold my hand. We locked eyes and I said, “I don’t think you want to look.” He had been contemplating it but was completely overwhelmed when he got into the room and immediately agreed looking was not the best idea. Then the team got to work. To us, it was the most terrifying moment of our lives. I was being sawed open and we didn’t know if our boys would be ok when they came out, but to the team it was just another Friday morning standard procedure. They chatted the entire time and talked about a YouTube video they had recently seen all while tossing me around, tearing me open and digging through my insides to get to my babies. I could feel them moving me but I couldn’t feel pain which is the weirdest feeling ever. Luke and I were so terrified all we could do was look at each other. Finally, the doctor said, “here’s baby A,” and it was the longest 5 seconds of our lives before we heard him cry. They brought Liam around the sheet to show us. I’m not going to lie but he looked like a purpley-grey slimy alien – but to me he was absolute perfection. Shortly after the doctor told us baby B was on his way out and again we held our breath until we heard him cry. Another purpley blob named Owen was presented to us and then I began to sob uncontrollably. I felt like I had been holding my breath for the past 8 months and could finally breathe knowing they were here and were ok. I was also shaking uncontrollably from the cold room and pain medication so basically I was a hot mess. Everyone kept asking if I was ok and all I could do was nod and mumble, “I’m just happy”. The nurse grabbed Luke to cut the umbilical cords and I was left shaking and crying on the table while the doctors finished the procedure. Luke returned to my side and the neonatologist brought each baby to me all clean and swaddled up. They plopped the babies on my chest and I was finally able to detail inspect each kid. As I suspected they were still perfect. As quickly as they were presented to me they were ushered away to the nursery. I sent Luke to stand guard and I was wheeled into triage to recover. The neonatologist eventually came into triage to update me on the boys. He told me they were perfect, tell me something I don’t know I thought to myself. But really, he said that the expectation for the twins coming so early was that they would need a lot of support – oxygen, heat, feeding, and possibly more at a higher level than the hospital was able to provide. To everyone’s surprise they only needed feeding support and would be able to stay on-site at our hospital. I had set the expectations that if they came early we could count on a stay in the NICU so it wasn’t a surprise when I was told they would be staying there rather than in my recovery room with Luke and I. On my way up to recovery I was wheeled through the nursery and was able to see them again in all their cleaned up glory. They were beautiful and I was exhausted. I was wheeled up stairs to our recovery room but found myself relieved and grateful that the boys would be monitored around the clock by the NICU nurses. We settled into our room and were instructed by the nurses to rest which we happily followed. Before drifting off to sleep I looked at Luke and smiled, we were parents.

During my pregnancy I never understood every mother’s insistence on telling me their birth stories in detail, frankly, it became annoying. I mean it’s all basically the same; your water breaks, you go to the hospital, something unexpected happens, you are in the most incredible pain of your life and finally your babies show up. Wash, rinse, repeat for every other woman on earth. BUT now I totally understand. The boys’ birth was the most terrifying, painful and rewarding 8 hours of my life and I hope to remember every detail of the process for ever. So I apologize to every woman who told me their birth story while I was rolling my eyes on the inside and figuring out how to exit our conversation.

After experiencing birth first hand, I can say with confidence that females are unbreakable and strong as hell! 

Now that you have read the novel that is my recollection of the twins’ birth you shall be rewarded with some pictures of Liam and Owen and their journey into our lives!

Meeting the boys for the first time. Liam Richard Leonard was born first at 2:35 AM on Friday May 29, 2014. Liam weighed 3 pounds 12 ounces and was 17.5 inches long. Owen Prudence Leonard was born shortly after at 2:36 AM. Owen weighed 4 pounds 13 ounces and was 19 inches long.

After meeting Luke and I the boys were whisked off to the NICU for a detail inspection. The pictures above perfectly represent the boys personalities so far. Liam, on the left, is such a little boss. He was the one who got the party started by attempting to make his way out. He has been alert and communicative since the minute he was born. Owen, on the right, would have been happy hanging out under my rib cage for another month or two. He’s fat, happy and laid back but once Liam decides to take action he’s on board. Can’t wait to see how their personalities develop!

WE. ARE. PARENTS.

***Please disregard my face. It is roughly the size face of a 300 pound person but I was extremely bloated from all of the drugs being pumped through my body. However, this is our first family picture so I had to include.

Pure sweet perfection. Liam and Owen have turned our lives upside in the most amazing way possible. I can’t believe they have been with us for a month already! Hopefully, I can get some more pictures and dialogue up about our journey so far, but seeing as their birth story took a month for me to produce I wouldn’t hold your breath.