Now that I’m huge and obviously pregnant the general public takes that as a free pass to ask me about my pregnancy. 99% of people ask me “how do you feel?” I feel normal and not a whole lot different than when I wasn’t growing twins. When I tell people that they usually look really disappointed. Do they want me to be feeling horrible? Am I supposed to be feeling out of this world? I don’t know what they expect me to say but I do know that I am lucky to have had such an uneventful pregnancy so far and that a lot of women go through hell. What I really want people to ask me is “so what do you think of pregnancy?” That question, depending on the time of day and how much of it I have spent pondering the bizarre process of pro-creation could yield any number of responses. The topics I have been pondering lately are as follows:

**some of the below might be a little graphic or gross or just too much information in general so read at your own risk**

Occupational Therapy

I didn’t know becoming an occupational therapist was a legitimate career choice until I was in my junior year of college and overheard a few of the other athletes in the training room discussing getting their masters degree in occupational therapy after they completed their undergrad. I was eavesdropping so I didn’t ask for details but I still had no clue what an occupational therapist actually did. I concluded that an occupational therapist probably provided counsel to those who chose to obtain degrees in fields of study that had no promising jobs in the real world. I was surprised you would need a masters to tell somebody they made a poor life decision and would probably need to obtain another degree or additional training to get a job that would pay off the loans on their original degree.

Eventually I learned what occupational therapy really was but still didn’t grasp its importance because it didn’t relate to me as I was still young, healthy and in reasonably good shape. Eventually when I started to pay attention to people besides myself I realized how useful and necessary this type of therapy is; I have a friend who provides occupational therapy to children with disabilities and my grandparents have received therapy when they’ve undergone surgery and would have to use a walker or other type of assistance while they recovered.

Then one day shortly after my belly officially popped and I could no longer see my feet I found myself in quite the predicament in the restroom at work. When I went to wipe, my arms couldn’t reach any of the areas in need. I panicked. Did my arms become shorter? Did I have T-Rex syndrome?

Nope. My arms couldn’t reach around my stupid belly. 29 years of doing things the same way and I could not for the life of me think of an alternate way to accomplish this task. Finally, I stood up, did the old reach around and got the job finished. There had to be a better way though, would I really have to stand to clean myself the rest of this pregnancy? Later that night, probably over dinner, I asked Luke, “Babe, how do you wipe your butt?” These types of questions should not surprise him by now but this one made him choke on his food. He said nothing. I went on to explain my predicament and finally he replied, “from the back, duh.” Finally some clarity. Over the next few weeks as my belly got bigger I had to re-learn how to do many tasks I never had to think twice about before such as tying my shoes, getting out of bed, shaving body parts that I cannot see or reach in a safe manner, walking around corners, safely securing my boobs, picking something up off the ground, and many other mundane tasks I previously overlooked. Then it got me thinking of all the things I would have to figure out how to do with 2 babies such as leaving the house, going to the grocery store where carts only have slots for one nugget, picking two kids up at once, nursing two kids, loving two kids simultaneously and then my mind basically exploded.

Moral of this story is that I came to the conclusion that there should be occupational therapy for pregnant ladies and new moms. Is there such a thing?

Slinging a Jay

Growing up, every summer my family would go to our family reunion at my great uncle’s lake house in Lake Elsinore, California and then spend the week after at the beach in Carlsbad, California. We could walk from our hotel to the town center and often went to a restaurant called Jay’s. I think it was a casual pizza / Italian place. One night as we left the restaurant after dinner my dinner immediately didn’t agree with me and I spent the next 30 minutes testing the plumbing in the bathroom. When I finally walked out to the parking lot to join my family only my cousins (all male) and brother were left waiting for me. The entire way home they made fun of me and my bowel movements and teased that we would probably get billed for repairs to the bathroom. For the rest of the week, every time I would get up to leave the room my cousin Ryan would say something to the extent of “where you going Erin, To drop a Jay…?” and of course everyone would laugh. In fact, over ten years later everyone is still laughing about it.

Ten years after that incident we all found ourselves in St. Louis for my oldest cousin, Sean’s, wedding. By that time we were all drinking age and after a night of partying together with the cousins and uncles my cousin Ryan (see a theme here) took us to a late night diner and insisted we all order the St. Louis Slinger which was some sort of rice, gravy loco-moco type dish. At the time it was delicious but when the 8 of us got back to the hotel at 2 in the morning it affected all of us in the same way Jay’s had effected me. 8 people and 2 bathrooms made for a long smelly night. Naturally, we combined the two incidents and now when anyone in my family has to poop we fondly refer to the process as “slinging a jay.”

Early on in my pregnancy my sister in law was still pregnant and I constantly asked my brother every detail about her experience. One day I asked him, “What is Syd most looking forward to after Harrison?” I was expecting a textbook response like wine, sushi, skinny jeans or seeing her feet but his response was, “slinging a solid jay.” What???? I had no idea my ability to sling jays on the regular was going to be compromised? Never in my life did I have to wish for solid jay slinging, us Prudence kids were proud to be regular. I just couldn’t believe that something else could be stolen from me during pregnancy. I felt like everything good in life was being taken away from me.

From that day on, every time I sling a solid jay I thank the powers above and wonder if that was my last good jay until further notice. Pregnancy has really made me appreciate the little things in life.

The Skinny Getting Skinnier

There’s no way around it or me, I am getting fat. Yes, most of it is in my belly but everything else is getting big too. Before we left for Hawaii, I went to pack this panama hat Luke bought me last year and thought to myself to try it on first. Nope, didn’t fit. Even my damn head is getting bigger (most people thought that wasn’t possible). My butt is getting bigger to counter balance my belly. My fingers and toes swell when I don’t drink enough water or I consume too much salt. My boobs are getting bigger to accommodate the dietary needs of the twins when they get here. Everything is getting bigger. AND I STILL HAVE 3 MONTHS LEFT.

As I get bigger, everyone else is getting skinnier. They swear to me that they are the same size but all my girlfriends and especially my sister in laws who all just had kids are shrinking. When I was a normal sized person everyone else seemed normal and something drastic would have to occur for me to wonder, “WTF happened to so and so?” I wish everyone would stop shrinking, I can’t tell if I’m delusional or need to start staging interventions and share my fries! Will my circus mirror mind re-adjust after the boys get here?

So that’s what I think about. Sadly, it’s only the tip of the iceberg into my thoughts but this post started to run long. As long as I don’t get any scathing reviews from my loved ones I’ll share more of a look into my questionable thought process in another post. I should probably think about how to care for a newborn or what my birth plan is going to be but my mind runs off on all these wild tangents and then it’s five o’clock and time to go home. After reading this post it is perfectly understandable if you question whether or not I’m fit to be a parent, I’m sure Luke is. I hope you also understand why there weren’t any accompanying pictures.

Happy pooping, people!

 

Growing up, for every occasion I thought that I should be receiving a gift, I would make a detailed list and distribute it accordingly. This habit started when I was really little and noticed that the Toys’R’Us catalog was included in the Sunday paper. As my parents would read the paper I would scour the catalog, circle everything I wanted, write a summary list and even include tax at the bottom to calculate a grand total of the items I was expecting! Then when the internet age rolled in and online shopping was introduced I would make Santa a word document with links to the exact items I wanted from sites all over the internet to make Santa’s job a little easier. I was always disappointed when I received something that wasn’t on the list or not to the exact specifications that I outlined. I mean I went through all the trouble to tell you exactly what I wanted, how hard is it to comply? My poor mom.

When I started dating Luke I attempted to employ the same process and he was not having it. My thought process was that if I outlined exactly what I want and he stuck to the outline, then we avoid me being disappointed. He, however, is the king of surprises whether you want them or not. He didn’t have many serious relationships before me so it was like he had 10 years of surprises built up just for me and it really stressed me out! But he loved it. I would send him links to things I liked and 100% of the time I would not receive them. One day I asked him why he never got me anything I actually wanted and he replied, “You do realize I am never going to get you something you tell me you want, I’m going to find something you never realized you wanted until I give it to you!” I was blown away, this entire time I had been sabotaging myself…and I also found it kind of romantic that he put that much thought into anything. In the end, though, I took his response as a challenge and have been playing mind ninja ever since to plant ideas in his head and make them think they are his own so that I still get what I want. That my friends is the key to marriage!

So it pains me to put a list out there of things I want for my birthday because I know Luke will read this and then I won’t get anything on the list…or will I?

1: Tom Ford Sunglasses: I’m turning 30, so I think it’s about time I get a little Tom Ford in my life. I’ve been dying for a pair of his sunglasses for quite some time now but haven’t been able to pull the trigger.

4: Urban Outfitters Vanity: I have the perfect space in our master bedroom for this vanity. Our furniture is white and I was thinking I would have to go white for a vanity but I am loving this goldish-bronzy color and am thinking I might need to find a bedside table in the same finish for the hubby boo’s side of the bed.

3 Madewell Slides: It’s about that time folks. The time where I cannot bend over to secure any straps on sandals and my feet are getting squishy. I need a pair of slides that I can wear to work and slip on without the assistance of the husband. I’d like these in black!

2: Kate Spade Tote: This is perfect for summer! It has pool / beach / outside all day written all over it and I think I could carry one of the twins around in there if I had to.

**see what I did there with the numbering? Actually, I just couldn’t copy / paste into the correct order without losing the hyperlink (you know in case someone actually followed my direct links to things I want).

The good news is that there’s still a month and a day left until my birthday so there is plenty of time for you to buy me something and plenty of time for me to mind ninja Luke!

 

While mom and dad were away in Hawaii Jak & Zeus went to play at the cabin with Grandma and Grandpa Leonard. Their week started off like this:

And then after a full week of walks, quad rides, playing with the new puppy and being mountain men, Zeus & Jak’s week ended like this:

Looks like they need a vacation from their vacation.

Right before we left for Maui we learned Luke would be sent out of town for work starting the Monday we got back. He was sent up to Page to help build a round about in the middle of town. He’ll be there until the boys get here and then he’ll be working from the office so he can be on daddy duty too. I’m betting he’ll be asking to get sent back to Page after a week of all-nighters with the boys. Luke has opted to go all out budget conscious and live in his parents 5th wheel while he’s there. He found a RV park right on Lake Powell and the set up looks pretty sweet. I’m hoping my doctor will let me travel up there for a weekend soon!

Now the furry boys sit and stare at me all the time wondering where their fun parent is:

It’s been weird not having Luke around during the week. Even though he spent the first two years of our relationship on the road so much has changed since then! I don’t like sleeping by myself at night but I do  like making all the TV decisions! Jak is a sad sack when Luke is not around. He carries one of his slippers around the house and sleeps on it. Zeus on the other hand is the opposite of a loyal companion – he happily takes up all of Luke’s spot on the bed and doesn’t realize someone is missing until Luke walks through the door. Then he’s like “oh yeah, I like this guy.” Let me lick your face.

So this week has been a transition week getting used to our new schedules and sleep patterns, but I’m sure we’ll get all adjusted just in time for twins arrival and subsequent implosion of normalcy!

Whoa! It’s been a while since I last posted so I’m coming back with the good stuff – belly pictures. I haven’t posted for so long because Luke and I went on our babymoon to Hawaii and there is no way I was getting anywhere near a computer while I was there. I hope all will be forgiven with the bump pictures and a Hawaii post to follow soon!

21 Weeks: There is nothing more glorious to this pregnant woman than finding a non-maternity dress in her closet that still fits. This moment had to be documented.

22 Weeks: Happy St. Fatty’s day! I decided to get into the holiday spirit and since I couldn’t get wasted in normal St Patty’s fashion I wore a green cardigan and made corned beef and cabbage. Luke came home at lunch time “to check on the corned beef” and ended up eating 1/2 of it but that’s ok because I was mostly concerned about the potatoes! I for sure got potato wasted.

23 Weeks: Luke and I decided to go on a fancy date night to Mastro’s Steak House so I forced myself to put on a dress and makeup and was actually pleasantly surprised with the results! Mastro’s is a pregnant girl’s dream, sure they have great steaks but what really spoke to my heart were the lobster mashed potatoes and butter cake. When the waiter found out I was having twin boys he comped the butter cake, looked me and the eyes and sincerely wished me good luck.

24 Weeks: Hello Maui! I am not a trendy person but I definitely got on board with the babymoon trend especially since it warranted a trip to Maui. A babymoon is a last vacation a couple takes before the baby arrives. The idea is to spend time together to rest and remember why you liked each other enough to create babies before said babies turn your world upside down. Luke told me the guys at work were perplexed by the term “babymoon.” I like to picture a bunch of construction workers standing around in hard hats, fluorescent safety vests and steel toe boots discussing the concept of babymoons! Anyways, ours was amazing and exactly what the doctor ordered but it would not have been possible without the generosity of My Uncle Billy and Aunt Cris. I promise a jealousy inducing post on Hawaii is coming shortly!

25 Weeks: You can’t call a trip to Maui complete without having a meal at Mamma’s Fish House in Paia. It is hands down my favorite restaurant and inspires me to figure out how to get rich quick so on my next trip to Maui every single one of my meals can be here. We ate at Momma’s on our last night so as to not set the bar too high for the rest of the meals we had. It did not disappoint!

In summary, after careful review of all pictures in this post, I am happy to report that my gut finally sticks out further than my butt! Once we get the boobs on board with the growth plan my proportions will be entirely new!